Self Doubt

Life is a journey where I have started from nothing and I am aiming to achieve certain goals to accomplish the life I desire not just for myself but also for my family.

In particularly, my mother is the most hard working women I know in this world as she keeps on going even though the odds are against us in this life. I've seen her support me so many times in my life and I could never repay her for being there for me in those dark moments when I was completely broken. Her words remind me that I have to be the man, I have to lead and be the older son that this family need.

My father sacrifices it all for his children. I have seen this man age and become more calmer and timid. I guess the lion is aging and its sad to see. But even through his aging I can still sense the heart that has always loved and cared for his family. The rock that has held this family together and remained calm in every situation no matter how crazy it got. I don't know how you can have that level of calmness in certain situations but then I remember that you came from circumstances that were much worse. Understanding your upbringing makes my life seem so easy, and your harshness towards me is something I have come to understand is a form of love. You have helped me to develop thick skin, something that I need in this life. But at the same time, you have taught me that not everything in life is in my control and have provided insight into stoicism and religion.

Therefore, against all odds and using my life as a sacrifice I am going to create the life that my parents deserve so then I can rest easy knowing I tried to give it my all. I must remove all self doubt and overcome fear as I face the dark abyss to create the life that I am trying to form. Step by step, I can not rest and must overcome the obstacles to become the man I want to become for my family.